Anxiety can creep up on you.
Before you know it you can be overwhelmed by anxiety and slip into survival mode. Once you are in survival mode, it is very difficult for you to be in control. You try the best you can, but anxiety is calling the shots and you are automatically turning to ingrained maladaptive behaviors and reactions to get through the experience.
Survival mode during an anxious episode could involve irritability, unexplained embarrassment, a feeling of being out of control, a feeling of vulnerability, defensiveness, a physical reaction or even just shutting down. It can manifest in so many ways. So, how do you know if you are suffering from anxiety?
Here is a short list (and it is not all inclusive!) of things to look out for:
1. Your Breath
Take a deep breath. When you breathe in, are you suddenly aware that you really needed that? Does your deep breath make you realize you had been breathing shallowly or quickly? Short and shallow breaths are a common symptom of anxiety. Learning to notice your breath can help you to understand when an anxiety episode is coming on. Your breath is the number one way to learn to notice and control anxiety. This seems simple – but it is so common to completely ignore your own breathing and warning signs!
2. Racing Thoughts
Do you suddenly find yourself in the moment, with racing thoughts; but strangely no ‘space’ to think about what’s going on? Racing thoughts are another main symptom of anxiety. When anxiety hits, people tend to have racing anxious thoughts; and yet, they cannot analyze their current situation calmly and rationally. If you find yourself in the moment worried about dropping your bags, or taking too long, or not making eye contact, or not having enough money at the cash register – instead of making a simple transaction and going on your way – you might be struggling with anxiety.
3. Loss of control
What if? What if you fall on that last step? What if you say the wrong thing? What if you accidentally offend someone? What if someone yells at you in the street? What if? What if? What if? When you leave your house, the unexpected might happen. On the other hand, it might not. You spend a lot of time thinking about the what ifs and dreading them. You hope they don’t happen, because if they did – what would you do?! Would you be in control of the situation or would you be completely vulnerable? If this type of thinking seems familiar to you, anxiety could be an issue.
4. Embarrassment
Do you want to ‘crawl into a hole and die’ (as us Southerners say) after a fun night out with friends or a particularly awkward encounter? Do you feel self-conscious simply going to the shop or speaking with a waiter? Do you feel like a complete fool after a party, even when you actually just had a good time and nothing ‘too bad’ actually happened? Are you actually very shy and self-critical, even though you seem like an extrovert to others? All of these could be signs of an anxiety issue.
5. Lashing Out
Imagine you find yourself in a situation that makes you tense up, makes all your alarms go off, and makes you hold your breath. There is nothing you can do about this situation; maybe you are in a crowded store but your husband still needs a few more items. Do you find yourself suddenly (or at least pretty quickly) overwhelmed at the situation and lashing out because of this? Instead of calmly saying to your shopping partner that you are going to wait outside, you just “get through it” until you are so overwhelmed with tension that you break? If you find yourself in situations where you feel you cannot calmly express your emotions or wishes – you might be suffering from anxiety.
6. Procrastination
You’ve been meaning to go to the shop for bread for a few days. But you find yourself staying at home and putting it off. Why? You aren’t exactly sure, all you know is you feel ‘tension’ at the thought of putting on your shoes, walking down the street, going inside the grocery store, facing a cashier (and who knows what else?). You know it is irrational, buying bread is no big deal – and yet….you aren’t going to go today either. If you find yourself putting off basic or routine things in your life because of some unidentified ‘tension’ this could be a sign of anxiety.